Mammal March Madness 2014!
FINAL BATTLE PLAY BY PLAY!!
Mammal March Madness 2014 has officially ended, join us for Mammal March Madness 2015 with Mighty Mini Mammal and Mythical Mammal Divisions!
Links to natural history & other research to explain battle outcomes:
-WILD CARD MARCH 10th (battle details)
-First Round Social Mammals 8PM Eastern March 11th (battle details) Hyena, Musk Oxen, Hamadryas, Mandrill, Ethiopian Wolf, Tibetan Macaque, Wild Dogs, & Army Ants ADVANCE!
-First Round Marine Mammals 8PMish (more like 8:30) Eastern March 12th (battle play by play) Orca, Sea Lion, Walrus, Humpback Whale, Bowhead Whale, Oceanic White Tip, Dwarf Sperm Whale, and Polar Bear ADVANCE!
-First Round The Who in the What Now? Mammals 8PMish Eastern March 13th (battle play by play) Dhole, Binturong, Cassowary, Caracal, Saiga, Wallaroo, Fossa, and Babirusa ADVANCE!
-First Round Fossil Mammals March 14th (battle play by play) Mastodon, Peraceratherium, Wooly Rhino, Short-Faced Bear, Giant Hyena, Saber-Tooth Cat, Giant Ground Sloth, & Neanderthals ADVANCE!
-Second Round Social & Marine Mammals 8:30ish PM Eastern March 17th Hyena, African Wild Dogs, Musk Oxen, Army Ants, Polar Bear, Orca, Humpback Whale, & Oceanic White Tip ADVANCE! (battle play by play)
-Second Round TWITWN & Fossil Mammals 8:30ish PM Eastern March 18th Mastodon, Peraceratherium, Woolly Rhino, Giant Ground Sloth, Babirusa, Wallaroo, Binturong, & Dhole ADVANCE! (battle play by play)
-Sweet Sixteen! Paraceratherium, Mastodon, Hyena, Oceanic White Tip, Orca, Musk Ox, Barbirusa, & Binturong ADVANCE! (battle play by play)
-Elite Eight! Paraceratherium, Hyena, Orca, and Binturong ADVANCE! (battle play by play)
-Final ROAR! Hyena and Orca ADVANCE!! (battle play by play)
March 24th 9PM Eastern, the final battle ORCA vs Hyena clan, you'll pay 10$ for your seat AND ONLY USE THE EDGE!!!!
Background & Details:
In honor of the NCAA College Basketball March Madness Championship Tournament, Mammals Suck is featuring *simulated* combat competition among mammals. 2013 was the inaugural year of Mammal March Madness but this year we are BACK, bigger, broader, and better than ever. Seriously- we have way bigger mammals this time, we include non-mammal competitors, AND we will be awarding prize packs for best bracket photos!
After exhaustive scientific consideration during departmental beer hour, extensive consultation with guest experts, and twitter input from Mammal March Madness aficionados, we have generated the 2014 Mammals Suck March Madness Bracket!
Common Name Bracket
If you are unfamiliar with NCAA March Madness Brackets,
please see the bracket FAQ at the end of this post.
(yes, academics, I am looking in your direction)
Fancy Pants Pedantic Latin Name Bracket
(Nota Bene, yes academics, I am looking in your direction again)
corrected 3/10/2014 Paraceratherium spelled correctly & giant hyena genus clarified
This year we have ALL new divisions! Natural selection has not only shaped getting bigger and bolder, it has also in many taxa favored getting buddies, so we now have a SOCIAL MAMMALS division in which group size and group dynamics will play a role in battle outcome. Although we had a few of them last year in the carnivore battle royale, this year we created a whole MARINE MAMMALS division. Last year’s competitors were fairly well known, charismatic fauna- but what about lesser-known mammals? Well you will fall in love with our “Who in the What Now?” division of oddly-named and sometimes oddly-featured fellows. And although changing times and changing environments may have pruned them from our mammalian family tree, we are bringing back some seriously BADASS EXTINCT MAMMALS!
^I couldn't find artist credit for this- anyone know?^
And because all animals are awesome, in each division we have seeded one non-mammal competitor for our mammals to tangle with. And tangle they will, because the cassowary, the army ants, the oceanic white tip shark, and the GIANT FOSSIL MONITOR LIZARD THAT HUNTED ELEPHANTS (pygmy elephants) are by no means canon fodder entrants.
2014 Mammal March Madness Music Video!
you should totally watch this video
before they force me to take it down.
Some details: Battle outcome is a function of the two species' attributes within the battle environment. Attributes considered in calculating battle outcome include temperament, weaponry, armor, body mass, fight style, and for social mammals division- group size. Group size *only* matters for the species listed in the social mammal division- they stay a group even into the final four, in all other divisions it's head to head combat. Some random error has been introduced into calculating battle outcome & the amount of that error is scaled to the disparity in rankings between combatants. Early rounds, the battle occurs in the better-ranked species' habitat (home court advantage). BUT once we get to the ELITE EIGHT, battle location will be random: rainforest, savannah, ocean & ocean adjacent, or snowy tundra/mountains.
THE WILD CARD GAME WILL BE MARCH 10th (Australopithecus afarensis vs. Australopithecus sediba- mano a mano! Live tweeting starts at 8PM Eastern
Full Schedule
M 3/10 Wild Card!
T 3/11 1st Round Social Mammals Division
W 3/12 1st Round Marine Mammals Division
T 3/13 1st Round TWITWN Mammals Division
F 3/14 1st Round Fossil Mammals Division
M 3/17 2nd Round Social & Marine Mammals Divisions
T 3/18 2nd Round Fossil & TWITWN Mammals Divisions
W 3/19 Sweet Sixteen
T 3/20 Elite Eight
F 3/21 Final Roar
M 3/24 FINAL BATTLE of MAMMMAL MARCH MADNESS 2014!
Full Schedule
M 3/10 Wild Card!
T 3/11 1st Round Social Mammals Division
W 3/12 1st Round Marine Mammals Division
T 3/13 1st Round TWITWN Mammals Division
F 3/14 1st Round Fossil Mammals Division
M 3/17 2nd Round Social & Marine Mammals Divisions
T 3/18 2nd Round Fossil & TWITWN Mammals Divisions
W 3/19 Sweet Sixteen
T 3/20 Elite Eight
F 3/21 Final Roar
M 3/24 FINAL BATTLE of MAMMMAL MARCH MADNESS 2014!
Also this year we welcome some kickass scientists/guest experts to the behind the scenes MMM team: Kristi Lewton, Chris Anderson, and Josh Drew! They have kindly contributed in the planning and research to make 2014 Mammal March Madness completely amazing! We’ll live tweet the battles in the evening (8PM Eastern, #2014MMM) and then I will post the storify here so that those NOT on twitter can see the throwdowns and outcomes. And don't think you just get to have fun without any learning. Expect fun facts about the species' ecology, social behavior, evolution, and reproduction.
They are in it to win it!
Send in your photo with your bracket! Print the bracket, and take a picture with it & mail it to mammalmarchmadness@gmail.com. Last year players posed with fossils, lab jazz, taxidermied mammals, in costumes, and in groups! And as added incentive, we’re giving prizes for BEST BRACKET PHOTO (& runner-up) in FOUR CATEGORIES
1. Kiddo 0-12
2. Teen 13-19
3. Adult 20+
4. SENIOR FACULTY (proof of full professorship in the form of a link to professional website required for verification)
The specific items in the prize packs will vary by category- but all winners will get this and all runners-up will get an awesome mammal poster! Amazon is still shipping stuff to me so expect to see a photo of the full prize packs by early next week when the Madness is officially launched. keep in mind, this is not a prize for "high score" because EVERYONE who plays & learns is a winner, the prize is for best photo of your bracket.
This site will be updated and changed throughout the month so visit early & visit often!
The amazing Tom Levenson and I talked extensively about milk, science, communication, and Mammal March Madness in Feb- check it out!
We also talked about #2014MMM during the interview w/ BREAKING BIO!
The amazing Tom Levenson and I talked extensively about milk, science, communication, and Mammal March Madness in Feb- check it out!
We also talked about #2014MMM during the interview w/ BREAKING BIO!
6 minute video
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Bracket FAQ:
What do the numbers next to the Mammals mean?
These correspond to the relative rankings among the species. 1 is the highest/best ranked team in the division and 16 is the lowest/worst- the number assigned is referred to as "seeding" but its functionally interchangeable with ranking (seeded/ranked are therefore also interchangeable).
The single elimination bracket battle favors the strongest teams until you get out to the semi-finals: 1 plays(crushes) 16, 2 plays 15…
Oh and just like the military, or the hunger games, and to some extent in academia- it’s up or out. As soon as a species loses, it’s out of the tournament.
What is an "upset"?
This is when a low ranked team beats a high ranked team. 9 beating 8 isn't a super impressive upset. In the actual NCAA tournament upsets happen when a 12 will beat a 5 or an 11 will beat a 6, once every few years a 15 will beat a 2 in the first round. For example,
“Coming off its 11th national championship the season before, UCLA was ready to make another run through the 1996 NCAA tournament as a No. 4 seed. But in his final year as coach, Pete Carril and his 13 seeded Princeton offense got the best of the Bruins, stunning Jim Harrick’s squad in the first round with a last-second basket on a backdoor cut.”
Damn!
What is a “Cinderella” team?
A "cinderella" teams is a low-ranked team that progresses multiple rounds of the tournament systematically beating higher ranked teams.
So should I always pick the better-ranked mammal?
No! Real fans don’t abandon their favorite mammals just because they are pathetic at this kind of battle (although hopefully well-suited to their particular ecological niche). For example, my primate picks performed dismally because my well-established monkey agenda was in direct opposition to reality when the apes totally wiped the floor with them. People will clown you if your bracket is TOO conservative by always picking the better-ranked team.
Also the rankings are not infallible and there are upsets in nature too. Upsets are what make March Madness exciting. Like if Sea Otter beats Orca in Round 1- OMG NO ONE SAW THAT COMING!!!!! (but I think we can feel pretty certain that is very unlikely to happen).
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